I haven’t felt this bad in idk how long. I mean yes I feel bad alot of the time but this is just crazy bad. My friends can’t even pull me out of this one…the ones who care anyway. I’m definately gonna have to keep all my feelings to myself this time because appearantly I’m ruining peoples moods. I once told one of my teachers about my depression (one of the few that I trusted) and she told me that if I keep this up I’ll be dead by 19 and that’s a little scary because it does seem to be getting worse and worse. I’m really scared. I’m scared one day it’ll just get too bad that I won’t be able to handle it anymore and nobody will care and I’ll just wind up doing something stupid. That one day I WON’T come out of this depression and I’ll just go over the edge. I always wondered how people did stupid stuff like that because I never got why anybody would do that to themselves but now I do. And omg I just reread this and I’m scaring myself!!!I can’t believe I’m gonna post this. I feel so stupid right now because it’s all because of my “bff”. i mean why do i let her get me down. CUZ IM STUPID THATS WHY!!!ugh…And because of my other friends because how do I know that they’re not thinking the same thing about how this sad stuff is getting old. All well, maybe it’ll be better if I go friendless. At least I won’t ruin anybodys mood right
Tags: depression, friends, friendship, life, love, personal, random, relationship, sad, scared, thoughts
