Only lasted 2 months and 5 days

Soo…me and my bf broke up friday night…It all started when we got on the bus. My friend told me to sit in front of her so I did but my bf was sitting farther back. I told him to come and sit by me because for the past 2 weeks I haven’t sat with him for reasons that I can’t even remember. Anyways, one thing you need to know is that he’s very moody. He gets into really bad moods for no reason. I guess what brought this one on was the fact that I sat in front of my friend instead of going straight to him. So I told him to come sit by me and he said no so I said ok you always tell me I never sit by you but know I am and now you say no? And he just looked down so I sat down and started talking to my friend. Little while later he text me and said “I think we should break up.” I said O really? He goes yeah we’re not communicating. I was like wow what brought this on all of a sudden or have you been thinking about this. He goes yeah I’ve been thinking about it. So all that blah blah blah. (Btw we were on our way to a football game thats why we were on the bus.) So we text all the way up there pretty much and HONESTLY I’ve been thinking about it because I can’t deal with those moods. I’ve finally gotten happy again and I don’t need somebody bringing me down. Plus he’s already told me he loved me and I”m not sure if it’s going to develop that far…Anyway so eventually he goes I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that blah blah blah. Well after he said that I say you know what it’s just going to be weird after this so we should break up. He started saying no I’m sorry I was stupid I shouldn’t have said that I won’t do it again give me another chance and all that. He said he didn’t want to do it this way and that he wanted to talk face to face. I said I don’t want to do that because it’ll be too hard and it’s just going to make things worse. He said no it won’t and that he just wants to explain himself. I said ok. 3rd quarter came and I avoided him. He said he wanted to talk on the bus and I said ok. My friend didn’t wnat me to be with him because of his bad moods and she knows that it bring me down so she’s been wanting us to break up for a while. She didn’t want me to talk with him on the bus but I knew I had to. I neede closure and we needed to talk this out. He came and sat by me and she went CRAZY. She called my other friend and started saying omg I can’t believe that she did that and making it so obvious. She tried to make it seem like she wasn’t talking about me but everybody knew she was. He started saying that he was sorry and give him another chance and he’ll never do it again and he was just in a bad mood and stressed and this and that. My family has a thing for saying that it’s over and not sticking to it and I’ve always said I wouldn’t be like that and since I’ve already been thinking about breaking it off I kinda wanted it to happen. I said no it’s going to be weird and I don’t want to be walking on egg shells with you making sure that you don’t threaten to break up with me it shouldn’t be that way. He said he knows and that he doesn’t deserve me and all that. Eventually he tried to grab my hand and I pulled it away. I’ll always remember that look on his face. He looked so sad and it broke my heart to know that I”m the one who made him feel that way. A few days ago he took one of my rings and said that he was going to wear it. I said ok and he wore it. Well he took my hand again and slipped it back on my finger, said he loved me and moved to another seat. That was it right there. I almost busted out in tears. I had to keep it in because I don’t cry in front of people. My friend that didn’t want me to be with him tapped my shoulder and asked if I was ok. It took everything in me to not bust out in tears. I shook my head yes. She told me to look at her and I just couldn’t. I was so close to tears. She left me alone after that. I was quiet the rest of the ride home. People were trying to talk to me but I was in a daze I couldn’t listen and I couldn’t respond. I felt so guilty for doing that. Before we talked face to face I was fine. I thought I wasn’t even going to be sad. After the face to face I felt horrible. I felt so guilty. That night I cried myself to sleep. I usually wake up in the middle of the night so everytime I did I thought what happened was a dream…it wasn’t. I never thought we would break up that way. I knew we wouldn’t be together forever but I didn’t know it would end like that. The next morning my sisters had soccer games and I didn’t go because I wanted to “sleep”. I just wanted to cry in peace without people walking in. I woke up and the first thing I did was cry. I cried all morning off and on. Later I cried because I missed him. I started thinking that I made a huge mistake and that I shouldn’t have broken it off. I text my best friend and told her. I asked her if that means that I made a mistake. She said even if you broke up a year from now you would still miss him. Either way you’re going to miss him. That was the best advice she had ever given me. We decided to be friends. We tried talking normally. It’s just so hard to not be the way it was. Having to be friends is just weird. I don’t even remember how to be friends with him. We started talking normally. It didn’t work out so well. The last thing he siad before he went was my hearts beating fast and I can’t stop the tears from coming so I’ll just talk to you later. That broke my heart and I cried some more. I haven’t cried this much in I don’t know how long. I miss him and part of me wants to get back with him but then it’s like what’s the point when it won’t even last that long. I was the girl of his dreams and I broke his heart. This is so hard I never knew that it would be this hard. This sucks. So thats my story my long long long story. Now I’m probably going to go cry some more. Have a good day =)

Tags: boys, friends, friendship, heartache, life, mad, personal, random, relationships, sadness, thoughts