My mom was hospitalized. Supposedly she’s fine now but she doesn’t believe it and I honestly don’t either. She’s always had a little opening in her scull which caused her to have seizures but she now takes medication and it prevents them…She thought she was having a stroke so she went to the doctor and was hospitalized. It turns out it wasn’t a stoke but the doctor said she was fine besides the opening. She went to a neurologist for a second opinion and he sucked…She’s going for a third opinion on thursday and im scared to death. She’s thinking they might tell her she’ll need to have brain surgery. She WANTS to have it but she doesn’t realize how risky brain surgery is. I have to keep this all in because I don’t want her to know that I’m worried. I don’t even talk to my friends about it bcause I don’t want them to get all weird on me. The only thing they can say is “Oh” so I figure why say anything. I’m so scared that something will happen to her because if something happens to her idk what I would do. On top of that my supposed “bff” isn’t really there. It seems that we are drifting even though she says we aren’t. She became best friends with my ex boyfriend which is shitty of her I know. But I keep that bottled up too. I don’t want to fight with her so I keep it in. I have my other 2 best friends but I don’t want to tell them either. This is really the only place I can go and talk about stuff because I don’t know the people that will read this. The whole reason why this stuff started is because my mom had high blood pressure so that’s why she thought she was having a stroke. They said it was because she’s a teacher and has to keep all of her anger in. I’m not a teacher and I”m only 16 and I’m already keeping things in. It worries me that one day I’ll start having problems like that because I can never let my stuff out. Usually I let it out by crying but I won’t let myself do that anymore. When my mom was first hospitalized I had to keep in the tears and be strong for my sisters because I didn’t want them to know how worried I was. Ever since then I don’t want to cry anymore because I feel like I have to stay strong. I want to be able to tell people how I”m feeling but it just ends badly when that happens. So I go on like I’m so happy but if only they knew…I’m hurt that I feel like I’m drifting from my best friend and that she became best friends with my ex. I’m so worried about my mom that I can’t hardly think of anything else. School is totally stressing me out but it keeps my mind off of stuff. If only I could say that to somebody instead of having to say it on the computer. I used to be so good at blocking it out but I just can’t. Not after all this happened to my mom. Hopefully I won’t have to come back on here for a while. Have a good day everybody =)
Tags: boys, friends, friendship, life, love, personal, relationships, scared, worried
